Bye Bye 2011

Geez. Is it December 31st again ALREADY?! As usual, and as my dad has always told me, the years go by faster the older I get. Yep, he was right. Again. Let's take a look at the year that is about to end....

More Sunday Night Dinners, trips to Tahoe, new clients, many more miles on my running shoes, more recovery & independence for my sister-in-law, boys finishing 6th/7th grade, Andrew starting his last year in middle school, Robbie playing in a garage band and the Hart Middle School Band, new ovens, FUN birthday month, Rock of Ages in SF, new job for Dan, saw Temple Grandin speak live (she's a rockstar), overnight in SF w/college buds (did we sleep at all?), track meets, basketball games, dear friends' kids high school graduations, family trip to Europe (London! Paris! Rome!), girls' weekend in Carmel, running 5K's with Robbie, rockin' summer party, MANY concerts! (Bryan Adams, Creedence, Doobies, Yes, Styx, Kansas, Foreigner, Journey, Chickenfoot, Montrose), honor roll assemblies, Stanford football game, completed 9th half marathon, feeling stronger, Mom turns 70, and Christmas parties. Whew. 

Looking forward to 2012, I am hopeful for: 
-Continued health
-More independence for my sister-in-law
-Stronger friendships for Andrew-especially as he starts (gulp) high school in the fall
-Frequent laughs & fun with Robbie
-More getaways with Dan The Man
-Lots of quality time with my parents
-Keeping my clients happy
-Completing my 10th half marathon in April with many friends beside me
-More concerts & more laughs with my girlfriends
-Increased acceptance & understanding of all people with special needs
-More good wine

Happy New Year! Now please, won't you refill my wine glass? I'm ready to get this party started.
jrb

Merry Christmas from The Brumm Family

Happy Holidays! We hope you are all enjoying your holiday season. 2011 has been a busy year for us, filled with adventure and fun! Here’s a bit of our year:

Robbie “wanna shoot some hoops?” Brumm will be turning 13 in February, is in 7^th grade, and is keeping busy with basketball, racquetball, and track (spring). He was on the Hart Middle School Basketball Team and was so pleased that they came in 2^nd place (although 1^st would have been even more pleasing!). He has been playing the drums for 2 ½ years now and is really rockin’ it! He’s enjoying being in both concert band & jazz band in school this year. Robbie is a cool kid with a great sense of humor and is a kick to be around.

Andrew “will you play Yu-Gi-Oh with me?” Brumm will be turning 15 in February, is in the 8^th grade, and is looking forward to high school next year! He is in his 2^nd year of being a Special Olympics Athlete, participating in bowling, basketball, track and golf. School is going very well this year and he’s made many new friends through the Yu-Gi-Oh Club. He is really looking forward to having a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament for his birthday in February. And on a side-note: mom and dad can’t believe how expensive his size 13 shoes are! He is a wonderful young man and helps us see life so much more fully.

Janeen, 29, is still modeling swimsuits and is so happy to have completed her PhD in Physics. What? Honestly, she is LOVING her Social Media Business and is so happy to have found a 2^nd career in something right up her alley. She completed her 9^th half marathon in October and is looking forward to her 10^th in April of 2012. Taking care of the boys (all 3), working, entertaining, running, playing with her girlfriends & volunteering at school are all what make Janeen tick. Life is good.

Dan, 32, is training for his 3^rd ironman, as well as writing his first novel titled “Why don’t I golf as much as I’d like?” Read the book to find out the answer. Actually, Dan is working at Avaya, and his role, like many of his colleagues’, is a virtual office position. As you can imagine, Janeen is thrilled to have him working at home. Every. Single. Day. :) He is the coach again this year for Robbie’s CYO basketball team, and he spends as much time as he can at the gym playing basketball and working out with Andrew & Robbie.

Highlight of 2011: The four of us enjoyed a trip of a lifetime to Europe in June! We went to London, Paris & Rome and had an absolutely magnificent time. While in London, we were so fortunate to be able to stay with our next-door neighbors, the Cranes, who lived there for 3 years, but are home now. The trip was truly a thrilling 2 weeks for us, and we all enjoyed every bit of it.

We wish you a happy holiday season and joyful New Year!!!

Love, Dan, Janeen, Andrew & Robbie

My Love/Hate Relationship With Running

Fall is approaching, and I, like many of my friends, know what that means.....marathon season! My relationship with running started about 27 years ago. It was 1984, I was moving out of the dorms at SJSU, into an apartment, and trying to figure out what to take for P.E. My thought process went something like this: "Running? Hmm. Never been a runner. I'm just the chubby girl from Castro Valley (So I thought. Never realized I was "average" until later in life. The curse of being female). I can throw a mean softball. And I'm a pretty decent water skier. Let's give it a try." And that was how it all started. 

The class was fun and I quickly caught on.  I enjoyed the freedom it gave me, not to mention the help of losing the "freshman 10" (although for me, it was the "freshman/sophomore 10"). And so it began. Like many runners, I was an on-again, off-again runner. But kept running, nevertheless, for many years. Not too far, usually 6 miles was the farthest. 

Fast forward many years, grad school, marriage, birthing two awesome boys and getting close to turning 40. I wanted to do SOMETHING SPECIAL. So, the year is now 2001 and my friend Cathy and I came up with this hair-brained idea to run a half marathon! WHAT?!?! We decided we wanted to be "40 & Fabulous" (even though we weren't quite 40 yet). We started running with the Pleasanton Fleet Feet "Huffers & Puffers" (the name is NOT an accident). We found a training regimen on the Hal Higdon website, and off we went. 

We ran the Primos Half Marathon in Danville! I will never ever forget turning the corner for the last quarter mile, seeing the finish line, and seeing Dan and my parents cheering me on. I still get teary thinking about it. It meant everything.

Seattle Rock N Roll Finish, 2010

Primos Finish 2001

The Primos Half Marathon was the first of what is now 8 half's under my belt. Yes, I am proud. I've run Primos twice, Nike SF, SJ Rock N Roll, See Jane Run, Big Sur twice, and Seattle Rock N Roll. Over the last several years, I've also completed three Cinderella 100K rides and four sprint triathlons (Tri-For-Fun), but lost interest in both because I never totally got comfortable on my bike in traffic and I really REALLY hate to swim! 

I know what you're thinking (or, maybe I don't). But with all this training, I should be a tiny little thing! Well, it's no secret I enjoy wine, the occasional cheeseburger (sometimes more than occasionally), french fries, etc. If it's a carb with salt on it, or cheese on it, bring it. Preferably with a glass of wine (did ya SEE the sub-title of my blog??). Perhaps that is why I'm still not a size 6. But hey, I enjoy life to its fullest. Work hard, play hard, right?  Right. I always ask Dan, "would you like me skinny and bitchy, or a little chubby and happy?" Let's just say, he knows the right answer. (and I'd like to throw in here that my cholesterol numbers are stellar, so why fix it if it isn't broken?) :)

This last year I took some time off and ran a lot less. Less times per week and less miles each time out. Boy, at 47, it is extremely hard to get back to where I was, mileage wise AND pace wise. Therefore, I am paying for my training again, with some (read: little) hope of getting my ass kicked. Um, yeah, just a little ass-kicking....not too much, please. I'm also doing this because I decided (after many conversations with myself) that I like Janeen-the-half-marathon-runner much more than Janeen-the-5k-runner. Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with running 5k's!! But you read above how I like to imbibe and enjoy my fave foods, so I need the mileage to balance things out. 


This October, 10 years after running my first half marathon, #9 will be The Wine Country Half Marathon in Healdsburg. If you see me out there jogging along any of the many beautiful Pleasanton routes, give me a little shout out, or even a "Woo Hoo!" to make me feel like the fast skinny bitchy girl, just for a second. Then I'll happily go back to the happy kinda-chubby jogger, and finish my run with a smile. Thanks for the support. And I'd appreciate it if you'd please refill my wine glass - I'm gonna go put my feet up and rest from this morning's run.


jrb

Parenting A Special Needs Child...Challenging, But Oh, So Rewarding!

Fourteen years ago last month I became a mom. Hard to believe! This revelation has sparked me to write again, after more than two months of no blogging.  I love to blog, but always seem to forget to do it!

Andrew at 10 months

Here's a picture of our cute little guy in December of 1997. Life was so awesome! A beautiful, healthy boy. He (literally) never cried. Andrew was so sweet and SO EASY to take care of. Dan and I actually had the audacity to think, "what is everyone complaining about? Parenting is easy!" HA! Little did we know the great challenges, coupled with great joys that lie ahead.

At 12 months, several things happened. Andrew had his first of 3 seizures (they ended for good when he turned 6), and he wasn't reaching some milestones (talking and walking). But so many kids are late bloomers, so no worries. Yet. He later started speech therapy at 2, because he still wasn't saying any words. A few months later, he also started physical therapy because of gross motor delays. He didn't really have a diagnosis at this point, just some delays, and we got early intervention for each them, as they surfaced. When Andrew turned 3, he was evaluated by the PUSD, and qualified for the C.H. (communicative handicapped) preschool class. What a great 2 years that was! He made such great strides in his talking and motor skills. At 5, Andrew entered mainstream kindergarten, as urged by his preschool teacher and therapists. 

Fast forward several years....social challenges, new placement into the special day classroom, repeating 2nd grade, mainstream classes again for 2 1/2 years, special day classes again with mainstreaming, diagnosis at 11 of high-functioning autism (HFA)....and now he's 14, in 7th grade, and wears a size 12 shoe! The autism diagnosis came later in Andrew's childhood, because he never exactly "fit" the diagnosis criteria. He had always had some of the behaviors listed in the DSM-IV, but not enough to meet the minimum needed for the diagnosis. As time went on, he was finally given the HFA diagnosis.

My big boy at 14

Middle school. What a joy! Actually, it's not ALL bad, but there are definite challenges. Socially. The social aspect of middle school is SO HARD on a typical child, let alone a child that doesn't read social cues, talks w/o thinking first, has impulse control issues, and wants to fit in SO BADLY, yet doesn't know how to appropriately. It can be a tremendous challenge for Andrew, his teachers, his therapists, and his family. Andrew is such a sweet boy, with a big heart, a great sense of humor and a lot of love to give. It just makes me sad that everyone can't see that side of him like we do at home. At home, we have good conversations (with consistent eye contact), we laugh, we cook together, we go out to eat, and we just hang out like every other family. We are also a very social family (I know, you're surprised) ;-), we have company over all the time and go out a lot, and with a little advanced preparation, Andrew does pretty well. It ALWAYS amazes me when we go out, and he orders himself, with complete eye contact and excellent manners (and the waiter, of course, is a stranger). At that moment in time, he doesn't have special needs - he is like all the other kids that are ordering their dinner, only Andrew says please and thank you!

But at school, and even with some family and close family friends, anxiety can get the best of him and the eye contact and comfort go away. I know. A lot of people are like that. But many many people know how to work around that, to fake it, to filter thoughts before speaking them. People on the spectrum don't know how to fake it, or how to filter. But I am not giving up hope that this behavior can't be learned - he is learning, constantly, and has most definitely shown progress over the years. 

Andrew has also learned so much from his younger brother, Robbie (12). Robbie is a typical-developing boy, who is very social. Sometimes it's hard, because Robbie is the kid constantly getting texts, invited to parties & sleepovers, etc. But Andrew is accepted by Robbie's friends. Sure, I see "that look" once in a while, and that is natural for kids, when Andrew says something odd. But they are sweet to him, they listen to him, they aren't rude to him. I feel this is not only because Robbie has chosen good kids to be in his inner circle, but also because Robbie lets them know that this is his brother, this is how he is, and it's ok! Kids that don't live with special needs in their home can learn so much from kids that do. Robbie does sometimes get embarrassed by Andrew, and I have to validate that too, because I know it can be hard. And for goodness sake, he's 12. EVERYTHING is embarrassing!

I feel, and have always felt, that it is my responsibility to educate my community on autism, what it means, how to support our autism community as a whole, and how to better understand our fellow friends and neighbors who are living with autism in their homes on a daily basis. I talk with my friends about it all the time, and in turn, they are educating THEIR children on what it means to live with autism. This helps all those kids better understand Andrew, other classmates with special needs, and to have much more patience and understanding when they are with him. It's a win-win!

I am so grateful that we have many friends that love and believe in Andrew. We live in a compassionate community (for the most part). He has AMAZING teachers, therapists and support at school. Our entire family (and friends that we call family-you know who you are!) all show Andrew what unconditional love and patience really mean.

I do have days where I have my little pity party cuz this parenting thing is hard (hey, I'm human!). But I pull myself out of it (or my girlfriends pull me out, usually with a glass of wine in hand). The way I see it, EVERYONE has challenges in their life. Whether it be parenting a special needs child, health problems, a difficult marriage, death, a challenging job, other kinds of issues with their children, caring for aging parents, etc. But my challenge? Mine comes with rewards, almost every day. We celebrate everything - making a D into a C, saying "hi" to a new friend, following the rules at school, running the mile (with little walking), "getting" sarcasm, reading body language, compromising, and I could go on. We celebrate all the little things that are intuitive for many, things that most take for granted, but have to be learned by Andrew. So, my challenge, though difficult, is rewarded on a daily basis. All should be so lucky. ♥

So, how about that refill on my wine? I'm ready. ;)

jrb